Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer

The Price is Right: A song I wrote myself in the 9th grade.

Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer
Had a very shiny pipe
And if you ever sold him
He'd smoke weed of any type

All of the other reindeer
Thought he was a real asshole
They never let poor Rudolph
In on any reindeer bowls

Then one cloud-nine Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your pipe so bright
Won't you smoke us up tonight?

Then how the reindeer loved him
And they showered him with tree
Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer
Smoke another bowl with me

The Price is Right:
Dumb Jokes From Wisconsin!

Q. Why did Willie Nelson get hit by a semi?
A. Because he was playin' On the Road Again.

Q. How do you break a geek's finger?
A. Punch him in the nose.

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie Mouse?
A. Because she was f----n' Goofy.

Q. How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

Q. What's purple, two feet long, and goes like this? (funny face)
A. I don't know either but it's right there. (point to shoulder)

I went to get my Kia fixed. They brought out the loaner; a 197? Dodge icecream truck. I asked, "Is there anyway to turn off those damn bells?"
"Sure," replied the mechanic, "you just turn the engine off."